Dear John is a romantic story of the rebellious John Tyree and the simple Savannah Curtis.  Sparks was able to tie in many interesting topics into one amazing book that include life of a military man and family, charitable acts, as well as the condition known as Asperger.  While hearing about the book, one would know about the first two topics previously listed, however reviewers and Sparks was able to keep the most interesting topic out of the limelight: Asperger.

The book starts out by allowing the reader to know that the narrator, John Tyree himself, was raised in Wilmington, N.C.  John was, again, quite the rebellious teenager growing up with only his father who seemed like he was the most laidback parent anyone could ask for.  He never punished John nor chatted with him about life’s day to day struggles, but he had no problem discussing his love of collecting coins while doing day-to-day activities on the same schedule every day.  John thought these types of traits were great as a young boy, but as he grew older, he realized that he needed more out of his father and life.  John always felt that he and his father really had nothing in common. Furthermore, the lack of guidance confused John as to what direction he should take in life.  After a few young adult years watching those around him wasting their lives by drinking and accomplishing absolutely nothing, John decided to enlist in the US Army.

During one of his leaves from the Army, he met Savannah, a senior at UNC, who was spending her summer building houses for those without.  Savannah was very much interested in those that didn’t have in their lives what she cherished in hers.  Because of this, her dream was to become a therapist for those with special needs.

John and Savannah spent two fleeting weeks together learning about each other meeting his father and simply falling in love, while he was on leave.  Just before it was time for him to go back to Germany, Savannah, after getting to know John’s father, bought John a book on Asperger as a gift for him to read and learn more about.  Of course this made John furious as he was bombarded with “accusations” that something was “wrong” with his father.  Long story short, John took the gift in which he was reunited with his father in the life that only his father knew about.

If you love stories about simple and true love, then I highly recommend it, but make sure to have tissues at hand whether you read the book, or I assume, watch the movie when it is released.

It hardly seems possible that I have been writing for Audacity Magazine for well over a year, now.

Every article I have written has been a new challenge.

Every article, I have written, has been as different as the article before. And every article I write comes from a place of understanding, compassion, and a sincere honesty to enlighten the non disabled community and connect to the physically disabled public.

I would definitely have to say, however, that they have all been like every other article in this magazine; connected with the one purpose of exploring the daily lives and feelings of the disabled community.

In a big, way, attempts have never been made to move beyond daily living skills, to understand and explore the other aspects of our lives. Thus, these articles, which I have written, have been crafted, created, and revealed to the public so that light may be shed.

I have seen articles here, on everything from learning to drive, to romance, travel, and remembering the great leaders of our past. I don’t know other than blogs, of a place, in which the great leaders of our community could gather together and express exactly what was on their minds.

This is invaluable, because it reminds all of us that we are not ever alone.

My experience, writing for Audacity Magazine, has not only made me more determined to move forward with my own life, but to experience writing for a prestigious magazine, when at one time, three and a half decades ago, I could not even form a constructive sentence by myself.

To be accepted by Audacity Magazine, has not only been a powerful experience for me, but it has reminded me that I was right!

I clung to the belief that I could learn, and I did. I clung to the belief that I had a right to an education and I got one. And, I clung to the awareness that I was going to make a mark on this world.

And, just like all of you, I have!

I have determined, in the depths of myself that, no one was going to define me. No one was going to tell me, or make me believe that I was less than what I was.

No one was going to take away the healthy self-esteem and autonomy I fought for.

But writing for this magazine has taken me a step further.

Each time, in every way, that I write another article, for this magazine; I am reminded of my own progress, and, I am reminded of all the other valuable gifts I have to share with the world.

Comments and questions: nathasha@audacitymagazine.com ]]> http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/07/28/136/feed/ 0 http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/07/23/can-you-hear-me-now/ http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/07/23/can-you-hear-me-now/#comments Thu, 23 Jul 2009 21:05:30 +0000 Glenda Barrett http://www.audacitymagazine.com/?p=132

At the age of fifty after recovering from a spinal fusion, I was diagnosed with Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disease, a neuromuscular disease that affects the peripheral nerves.

Shortly after I was fitted for an ankle brace and later four constructive foot and ankle surgeries. As I coped with all the changes, I noticed people began to treat me differently.

Being an independent woman, I didn’t know how to react when loved ones began babying me. It was hard for me to tell them that it made me feel more helpless than ever, but more than once like a toddler I’d say, “I want to do for myself!”

It seemed no one bothered to ask me what I wanted, even though I had no problem with my voice. I began to see I’d have to make some changes or I’d not be able to survive.

First, I decided to simplify my life thinking that would not be so hard. How wrong I was, it actually took me four years. I started by simply saying, “No!”

Because of a lot of pain and a low energy level I decided I needed to choose my friends carefully and let some go that were draining me. After waking up from a nap one day to the sound of someone screaming my name as they walked unexpectedly through my home, I decided from then on to lock the doors before I laid down.

Not only that, I made some changes with my e-mail and phone as well. I only returned the e-mails of close friends, and when I didn’t want to be disturbed I cut the ringer off on my phone and let the caller ID pick up the messages. When I felt rested, I returned my calls.

Another question no one seemed to ask was, “How can I help you?” Instead, they came to their own conclusions as to what I needed which usually was way off base.

For example when I came home from the hospital after my spinal fusion, I had to relearn how to walk again. Not only was it very painful but also difficult. More than once well meaning people would attempt to help me get in or out of a car, and I’d have to say, “No, thanks, I’ve got it!”

I’ll never forget the day I was standing in a crowd when a friend ran up and slapped me on the back saying, “Good to see you!” I almost buckled to my knees in pain.

As I look back, the hardest thing to deal with was getting people to really listen. Often I felt misunderstood. For example, each day I’d go to the grocery store so I could exercise and keep my spirits up. Even though I was having extreme muscle pain, I’d put on my makeup and get dressed up.

Invariably, I’d run into someone who would say, “How are you doing Glenda?” Before I could answer they would always say, “You look good!” On vulnerable days when I let my guard down and began to tell how I really felt I was bombarded with these kind of answers, “You know I have the same thing!”

Sometimes, they would simply change the subject to something trivial making me feel so alone and isolated.

At times like the commercial on TV about cell phones, I wanted to scream “Can you hear me now!” but I didn’t give in to that impulse. It wasn’t long, until I learned which friends I could confide it and which ones I couldn’t. I also found it was beneficial to go to a counselor to help manage my stress level since I had other problems in my life as well to cope with.

I also learned folks were only trying to comfort me but were not sure how to do it. They meant well.

I also found it was my responsibility to ask for what I needed which wasn’t easy either. And it was not easy to learn to say, “I’m sorry, I was having a bad day,” when I was irritable. I am still working on being kind and assertive at the same time.

It’s been five years now, and I’ve come a long way. As I sit typing this in my office filled with personal gifts and belongings that made me feel appreciated, I can look outside my window and see a female cardinal at the feeder.

In the meantime, I have a tape of Beethoven playing in my CD. When I tire of writing, I can sit at the other table and paint with my watercolors of oils. If I need a break I can call one of my caring friends who make me feel appreciated.

No, my problems have not gone away, they will continue to be a challenge, but I’ve created a sanctuary where I can go and rejuvenate my spirit. Yes, I’ve redefined my life. And to my surprise it is simple, peaceful and satisfying. It still amazes me how I was brought to this place in my life, kicking and screaming to find it suits me well.

How many people get to pursue their childhood dreams?

I’ve also learned to be very grateful for my friends and family and to realize they can’t read my mind. It is up to me to say, “I need your help!” And guess what, if they don’t hear me the first time, I’ll keep saying, “Can you hear me now?”

Email us your comments and questions to nathasha@audacitymagazine.com . ]]> http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/07/23/can-you-hear-me-now/feed/ 0 http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/03/28/simple-remodeling-for-tomorrows-needs/ http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/03/28/simple-remodeling-for-tomorrows-needs/#comments Sat, 28 Mar 2009 20:09:36 +0000 Megan Purpora http://www.audacitymagazine.com/?p=661

By doing a few simple home up-grades on overlooked items it will lessen the burden later. To live safer and healthier use natural bio-based renewable materials to remodel your home. Plus, you will be saving energy while doing your part to leave a positive impact on the environment.

Well, let’s explore your home. What easy, environmental, and cost-effective adjustments can be made now to help make your home barrier-free for the future?

Cecil Fox, Special Assistant to the President/ CEO of Chimes, a provider of services to people with disabilities and seniors, says, “the purpose of having a barrier-free home is to make the house as accessible as possible for every individual that enters. It is also important to have the house match the environment of the rest of the neighborhood as much as possible inside and out.”

Let’s Get Started

Before anything else the outside must be addressed. Look around the house for loose gravel, uneven ground, or areas that typically gather leaves and water. This can become an obstacle caused by improper drainage. To solve this problem simply redirect your drainage system by using pipes to an area where people do not travel frequently. If ground problems still occur then use erosion protection made out of natural-fibers that are biodegradable, which will add additional green benefits.

Once that problem is tackled the porch can now be looked at. The threshold of the door is often overlooked as a possible problem, yet the solution is quick and affordable. By inserting a rubber ramp under the door it allows an accessible entrance. The best solution is a ramp made from recycled-tire rubber because this material is very durable and slip-resistant. Find out measurements before going to the store to ensure an exact fit that will allow the ramp to become an extension of the doorway.

A commonly overlooked obstacle is the doorknob. Most open a door without much thought. But, this might become a challenge because of the difficulty of gripping a small object. A simple fix is to replace the doorknobs outside and inside the house with lever door handles. Lever door handles make entry a lot easier and less challenging for little cost to you.

Going Inside

Sometimes because of rain or snow on your shoes floors become wet. This water normally ends up sitting on your tile or laminate flooring in the foyer. When this area becomes slippery it can cause a serious injury if not addressed. Put down a non-slick material that will become an adhesive to the floor. Using a recycled plastic that has an open-weave texture helps eliminate wet areas and adds a design element to your house. This material can also be used on any surface in the house where a hard floor poses a barrier.

You do not want to use a rug or mat to try and solve this problem. They can also become an obstacle. Rugs and mats cause a tripping hazard if not secured down properly.

It is important to keep in mind as you go room to room that the doorway itself can pose a challenge. According to Independent Living, “most standard doorways are 28, 30, 32, and 34 inches wide, but the minimum requirement for a wheelchair is 30 inches wide.” So, instead of replacing the whole doorway use a wrap-around hinge, which allows the door to open wider than the frame.

Kitchen

The most multi-purpose room in the house is the kitchen, so adjustments should be made to fit multiple abilities. Sometimes the most challenging thing is not being able to reach. To increase your chance of finding everything in a quick and easy manner install rotating and pullout shelves. These shelves operate on a single pole with one end of the shelf attached to allow access to the items.

While shopping for shelves ask a store associate if the shelves have a low volatile organic compound (VOC). VOC is used like a solvent to finish most cabinets and shelves; and is used in paint, adhesives, and cleaners. Ultimately the solvent gives off gases that reach throughout your house. Another green alternative to standard cabinets is to place wheat board, a renewable material, on a wall to hang pots and pans for reachable convenience.

Bedroom

This room is normally high functioning for storage space of clothes and other miscellaneous items, so access to these areas should not become a barrier in the future. Let’s take a look at your closet. By up-grading your closet with multiple layer rods and shelves it will give access at every height. A bamboo-clothing rod is a strong durable solution that improves your health by releasing 35% more oxygen than other hardwoods while providing antioxidant properties that prevent bacterial growth.

Bathroom

The last room needs the most repairs and attention because most accidents in the home happen in the bathroom. A major concern is the shower and the temperature controls. It is very possible to accidentally turn the water on too hot and be scalded. Fox comments that in every barrier-free home that Chimes owns and operates for their residents a temperature lock is installed. She recommends placing a lock that stops the water from passing 110 degrees, which will decrease the chance of serious injury.

While examining the shower let’s also look at the showerhead. Be smart and install a hand-held showerhead for future limitations. When shopping for a showerhead look for one that uses low energy to help reduce the amount of power used throughout the house. This will ultimately lower energy bills. The Building Green Product Directory recommends a showerhead that has a “flow of 1.75 gallons per minute or less, well below the federal standard of 2.5 gallons per minute.”

Lastly, around the bathroom grab bars should be mounted to lower the risk of a possible fall.

So, head out to the store!

It is important to plan for your future in many different ways, but making your home a safe and accessible place should be priority. Also, remember by using green solutions you are being a conscious consumer while improving your home.

“Our ability to change the course of the earth’s demise is a staggering responsibility and one that we must address urgently and efficiently,” reports Brad A. Bobbitt, a representative of AmSan Eagle Maintenance a company dedicated in providing green cleaning and equipment solutions to customers.

All the repairs mentioned can be done by one stop to your local hardware store and help from a store associate. It is important to keep in mind that some offered solutions might not be suitable for you, but become creative and resourceful.
Megan Purpora writes about lifestyle and technology issues for individuals with disabilities.
Comments and questions: nathasha@audacitymagazine.com ]]> http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/03/28/simple-remodeling-for-tomorrows-needs/feed/ 0 http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/03/23/we-can-still-love/ http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/03/23/we-can-still-love/#comments Mon, 23 Mar 2009 22:26:32 +0000 Karen Lynn http://www.audacitymagazine.com/?p=141

We are dismissed because our disability is thought to make us stupid. Do you think it is always us?

This area of dissection, which is readily unspoken about, is most difficult for the largest part to swallow. It is hard to believe, to the average person’s eye; that there indeed are some very capable people out there with disabilities such as myself.

Unfortunately, people find it too dark an area to discuss, or talk about, let alone- cope with! It is all too easy to put on our rose colored glasses and hide with a false comfort.

In general, people and the world around us would rather ignore the matter at hand. They would rather turn away from the neediness and the desperateness that over-shadows disabled people’s true being. They would rather continue to believe the myths, and regard us as the “cute, innocent, naive children” forever living in this forgotten bubble, who have no desires at all!

This morose and morbid fascination with our capabilities, or to be more specific, our incapabilities in the romantic arena or lack there of is ignored.

The fact that we may wish, or think of having an ordinary, healthy, friendship, or even a romantic relationship with another consenting, loving, caring, human being; much less get married, is just too disgusting, too revolting, and too sickening.

It is too extreme, too challenging, and too confrontational. Moreover, it is very provocative and shocking to others and the norm.

For pretty much my entire life, I unyieldingly struggled with every bated breath I have taken. Not only was it for my own core essence and being to exist, but, it was in my chosen passion, which was of the arts.

It was the desire to be able to express myself freely in a world of dance, music, and literature; which helped me to relinquish and release the bars that I wore on my leg and in my brain– also, because I did not want to be looked down upon as a typical helpless victim.

Thus, I did everything in my power to strive and thrive- I had wants, needs, and desires, and I wanted to be given the same equality and chance to express myself in the areas I loved and cherished most.

I reasoned that if other men and women of my age and generation could accomplish their goals and dreams- including having a boyfriend, then why couldn’t I?

I could easily work on my inner-self- my strengths and weaknesses, to become the best person I could be. I felt that that was the healthiest way to approach my life.

However, too often, others were quick to judge! Consequently, time and time again I was put to the test- only to search my soul, readjust my thoughts, and daily re-committed myself to living that healthy “normal life,” in a society, which continued to tell me “I couldn’t!”

My self-worth came from the gentle, romantic way in which I cared for myself. It was the way that I dressed, the time that I took to primp and fuss, and the way I took that extra moment to look the very best that I could for each given situation.

It was the way that I nourished my body, my mind, and the way I acted. It was the honest and pro-active, empowering way I conducted myself. It was the way I looked up to those eloquent people who were positive, happy and joyfully succeeding in life.

I took the good, positive; things I liked, and let go of all the rest; as I continued to develop a sense of my own inner-being. I began to see how others were attracted to me.

They began to look beyond my left side hemiplegia, Cerebral Palsy, and learning disability. They began to see me for me. Thus, I embraced myself and my life even more than I already had. My romantic sense came from all this innate wisdom, insight, willingness to change, and the knowledge I read.

Yes, I have been challenged, ridiculed, stood up on dates, however, disputed all the intense examinations, cruel remarks, I have risen despite the harshest of scutinization.

I have found a man who loves me for me, and I have happily been married, for twenty years now. Despite my physical challenges I was able to find a love, a partner, and a life of my own, despite what the world thought of me.

Comments or questions, nathasha@audacitymagazine.com ]]> http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/03/23/we-can-still-love/feed/ 0 http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/01/29/mixed-reviews-whats-your-view/ http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/01/29/mixed-reviews-whats-your-view/#comments Thu, 29 Jan 2009 13:03:44 +0000 Our Readers http://www.audacitymagazine.com/?p=708 Hi Nathasha,

I want to respond to, or at least riff off, your commentary on Obama. You brought up some salient points, I think, and I’d like to write about a couple of them.

You’re right, obviously Obama can’t walk on water! (you know, though, I did see some kids sliding around on the reflecting pool during the inauguration….I’m not sure what the symbolism is of that, if any…). I’m not a staunch Democrat: I’m a staunch left-winger, which often puts me in conflict with the centrist Dems, but I’m also aware politics is compromise.

My heart was closest to Kucinich, but he didn’t have a chance. I supported Edwards because I believed he had the most compassionate domestic agenda. Of course I would have supported Clinton, if she’d won the nomination. After all, she was the first loud clear voice in years calling for universal health care. Obama…well, he’s Mr Charisma. At the Democratic convention in 2004 it was obvious he was a comer. I worried because he comes out of one of the most truly corrupt state political machines in the country, and I wondered if he was a political adventurer rather than a serious and responsible contender for the presidency. I’m still concerned about the latter: you know the old saying, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably isn’t true.” Time will tell. I think we’re off to a good start, however. Closing Guantanamo and evacuating Iraq are good opening moves. So is saying no to torture.

“Guardedly optimistic,” that’s me.

I’m really not sure about the costs of the inauguration; I have a hunch the inaugural expenses may be as mythical as the $73 per hour supposedly made by auto-makers. I know that the formal costs of the 2005 Bush inaugurals didn’t include security costs and that the “estimates” of Obama’s inauguration come from….where? The networks. But nobody knows where the networks got their figures.

Accessibility at the inauguration? Well, I don’t know. If I’d seriously thought about going, I would have been concerned—But, I’d have concerned myself more about the crowds and the cold, neither of which I’m particularly fond of.

I think Obama’s skin color is a plus, but not the whole show. I honestly don’t think he was chosen because of his skin color; it didn’t work for Alan Keyes or Jesse Jackson and I don’t think we’re so easily manipulated. “Identity politics” is an awkward topic; for me, it involves considerations about race, of course, since I’m mixed race myself; about his speaking of us disabled folks: I hope he’ll try to make sure the ADA is applied on a national level? What will happen with transportation and housing and the big one, universal health care?

The Democrats, traditionally, have been more concerned with health care and social justice than the Republicans, since the days of Franklin Roosevelt through Kennedy and Johnson and Carter (no, not so much Clinton!); I’m hopeful this will carry on in actual policy.

I don’t like Obama being called the first African-American president; he’s the first mixed-race, biracial president. That’s a more honest description. I think it’s hopeful. There are more and more mixed-race Americans. We’re a multi-racial country in a multi-racial world. I like our leadership representing that. Almost every previous president has been a descendent of north-western European ancestry. If I was African-American, of course I would have voted for him. The obvious joy of our Black sisters and brothers is completely understandable to me, especially considering the track record of the other party when it comes to race.

Things have looked bleak, for a long time. You remember the song by the Who “We won’t get fooled again!”? (You know I have a black belt in cynicism.) I was ready to give up. I figured if the Republicans won this election we were done for. I was going down to city hall and burn my voter’s registration card. Another eight years of debacles like the fraudulently hyped war against Iraq and subsequent occupation, ricocheting energy costs, Afghanistan’s opium flood, the erosion of health care for people here at home, declining life-expectancy tables, climbing economic misery, rotting highways and falling bridges and crumbling levees…that would be it.

Hope was what Obama’s campaign was dangling in front of us all. Like bait to hungry fish. Of course I rose to it, like a fish to a fly. I had to take the chance of being fooled again, of it being the same old bait-and-switch we’ve all seen for so many years. It’s like love. Without the chance of rejection and hurt, we wither and die; love is about risk. Life is about risk. Hope is about risk.

So, for what it’s worth—that’s where I’m at. Thanks for the opportunity to organize some of my thoughts.

Keep the faith.

Peter Webster

Steve Alexy

*********

I loved, loved, loved your article about your father. I could have written it my self. Almost the same exact scenario with my father except no one EVER told me he was sick & I just happend to go visit him & was told he had died. I liked your story because it didn’t make me feel like I was alone in my feelings for my father & in his behavior. I also like what you said about attitudes in dealing or accepting one’s disability. I am amazed at how some people with disabilities have such a high self esteem & move forward & those like myself let their disability hold them back to some extent.

Great article!

Sloane

********

Please take me off your mailing list.

I did not work to elect Barack Obama because of the color of his skin – I did so because of his intellect, his vision, his willingness to work with people he disagrees with, and a host of other reasons. But his skin color was not a factor.

You’re entitled to voice your opinion. But you ought to think about the sweeping generalizations you made. I read enough of that from right-wingers who don’t give a crap about people with disabilities or their civil rights. I don’t need to read it in my in box.

Julie Clark

*******

Hi Nathasha,

I’m sorry to hear about your father’s passing. I definitely got the impression that there were some family issues, least between you and your dad

This semester I’m taking a fourth year social work course that covers Disability Issues. I found it interesting, although unfortunate, when I read in your article that your dad was struggling with the acceptance of Parkinson’s and the fact it was limiting the abilities he was accustomed too. In class, we discussed extensively the difference between being born with a disability, and having a disability as the result of illness or injury. It’s different the mind set that takes place.

Anyways the article reminded me of that class. My condolences girl.

~ Melissa

In a blink of an eye, it doesn’t seem real all the time that has gone by since my father’s passing and my grandmother and Uncle’s physical deterioration with Parkinson’s disease.

These three important people in my immediate circle, were products of another era.

It was difficult for them to express how they felt and what they desired.

But, they were all sources of life, giving lessons to me whether I agreed with them or not.

They were an instrument towards my understanding the generations of dysfunction and lack of hands on affection in my family, and the wisdom of a young child who saw beyond the whelm, and wanted to move beyond, and towards the light of a better way of living, interacting with others, and being harmonic within the world around me.

All of these people were viewing someone very close to them, dealing with a disability, in a time that was thought to make a normal life impossible.

I was from the very beginning, determined to live as though I didn’t have the limitations of my body, or, the “crippling attitudes” of the larger society to deal with.

It would never have seemed possible for me to go out into this world and thrive with the attitudes and beliefs I was brought up with.

Because, most of my family; especially my mother, was caught up in the daily business of dealing with a disable child and everything that came along with it.

While my father came from even an earlier generation than my mother, and he had lost his mother, and was raised by a grandmother, so his focus was on earning a living. That left little time for anything else.

I had to figure out much for myself because my father passed away when I was only fourteen. This was just one experience in a period of several years that I lost loved ones. This forced me to be very self reliant, confident, and interdependent.

So, it was all put upon my mother to raise my older sister and myself.

Although, my dear Mama Katie didn’t quite know how much I could handle, or, how to totally express herself to me or say what was on her mind; she truly understood that I needed much more to become the person I was meant to be.

It is hard to remember what a radical idea this was in a time of separation for our community very similar to the segregated south.

My mother had to remember the balance I needed, so that I could thrive, grow and develop my inner and outer self. My mother needed to understand two great truths.

First, that there needed to be time to relax, regroup, and rest. And secondly, this was even harder, I knew there were things I needed to accomplish which she wanted to protect me from.

The first time my mother ever had the courage, the strength, and the ability to acknowledge her own error in thinking there were limits to what I could do, was the day I earned my college degree.

Who would have thought, that a dysfunction so deeply rooted, could have melted 35 years of pain, hurt, and lose?

I was able to use my own positivity to help heal my own wounds, as well as try to restore the physical strength of loved ones in agony.

It takes a really strong person to not fall into the trap of isolation and self pity.

All of us reading this magazine had channeled this kind of strength and will power to lead a life and beyond that which experts tried to limit us too.

I never fully recognized my inner strengths.

But each and every hurdle, blockade and barrier I came across, which called me to full attention, I knew I had to face.

I knew I had to deal with it, and I knew I could not run. I had to take the bull by its horn, and all that came with it.

I also knew that I could neither avoid, or refrain, nor deny.

My strengths came out of experiences that I just mentioned.

This would help me to help others when they needed me the most.

When my uncle struggled with Parkinson’s, I was able to give him my positive ways of thinking to deal with his disease and the pain it inflected upon him for well over 10 years.

Throughout my life, achievements have come out of my own struggle and the inner resources I have used to maintain a strong mind, body and spirit.

Send comments or questions to nathasha@audacitymagazine.com . ]]> http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/01/25/generations-of-perception/feed/ 0 http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2008/11/16/the-audacity-of-belief/ http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2008/11/16/the-audacity-of-belief/#comments Sun, 16 Nov 2008 14:24:18 +0000 Gregory Banks http://www.audacitymagazine.com/?p=779

Seeing people like the Reverend Jessie Jackson weep proves that all the dedication, faith, and struggles that Reverend Jackson and others, including the “Dreamer” himself, Rev., Dr. Martin Luther King. Jr., and the ultimate sacrifice that Dr. King made for the Civil Rights Movement, has finally paid off.

While person after person, especially those old enough to remember the days when blacks were regarded as second class citizens, lamented on how they never thought they would see the day when a black man would become President, I found myself unable to share in that feeling. I understood the sentiment, of course, but to never think it would happen just did not register with me.

Although I grew up as a black man on the heels of the Civil Rights Movement, and am certainly aware of the hard times and the still ongoing battles with prejudice and racism that we continue to fight today, my own battles were never so much about race as disability.

I grew up in a time when people were less accepting of those who were different, and while skin color often separates us based on culture, disability can be a means to separate us from the vast majority of mainstream society.

Being unusually short with crooked arms often felt like being a green-fleshed, 11-tentacled alien from Alpha Centauri whose head constantly spun around while pea soup spewed from its lips.

Add to that the very real distance that my physical disabilities placed between myself and other “normal” children, and you have the makings of one miserable, lonely, bitter man to be.

And yet I never became that man. I was raised by parents who never told me that I couldn’t be whatever I wanted to be. The friends I did have growing up appreciated me for who I was, and I rarely took time away from counting my blessings to fret over the things that I lacked.

Even when, in the 80s, I had trouble deciding what I wanted to do with my life, I never let the prospects of never having my dreams come true deter me from enjoying the life that I did have.

I think that’s why, when Barack Obama took the podium to accept the nomination as the next President of United States, I wasn’t overcome by the emotion of the achievement.

Whereas the President-Elect had “The Audacity of Hope,” I have “The Audacity of Belief.” I believe that anything and everything is possible. I believe that dreams are not unobtainable fantasies, but visualized goals that only we ourselves can prevent ourselves from achieving.

Sometimes it takes all of us, and not just each of us as individuals, to reach such heights, but nevertheless, the only thing we can’t accomplish are the things we fail to pursue with conviction.

The fact that disability remains a barrier today is more a matter of our societal failings to make way for every person to have a fair chance at the life they want, than any limitations our own disabilities place upon us.

As a person who has always loved to draw and create, who is now an author, a publisher, and a graphic designer, I’m proof positive that anything you conceive can be achieved, even if it takes the patience of Job to wait for it to happen.

November 4th, 2008 is a monumental day for all of us, especially those of us who fight for an equal and fair right to live a life free of restrictions. It’s a day when hope, faith, and perseverance triumphed.

And I hope it’s the start of new phase in the evolution in our world when people of any race, sex, national origin, sexual preference, or physical limitation can and will be accepted as worthwhile human beings given equal rights under the law, and I hope and pray that if our newest President accomplishes anything in the next four years, it’s to inspire and lead us into a new era of acceptance and understanding.

As bad as things are in these hard economic times, I think it’s perhaps the greatest time in human history to be alive, because it’s the first time where the prospect of freedom of choice and opportunity for everyone seems to be just over the horizon.

And hopefully we’ll all run together toward that future hand in hand.

I have the audacity to believe that such a future is only a matter of time, and even from the confines of my wheelchair, I intend to run toward it as fast as I can.

How about you?

Send your comments and questions to nathasha@audacitymagazine.com

Three weeks ago, I sailed the pacific seas to the Gulf of Mexico. I stopped in the ports of: Cabo San Lucas, Loreto, Guaymas, Topolobampo, Mazatlan, Sinaloa, and Puerto Vallarta.

This was an unexpected trip, to a part of the world, I always wanted to see. My in-law’s got an incredible deal on a cruise, and asked if we would like to join them. So how could my husband and I pass up such a wonderful offer. So we said yes.

However, my imagination, could not prepare me for what I was truly about to see witness, and, or stumble upon.

The MS Ryndanm, and all their crew, were about to treat me with much care, and take me on a trip of a life time.

As I traveled the 2,726 nautical miles of breath taking seas, my sea legs became one with the ocean floor, and, I was prompted to remember once again, of all the things I have been blessed with, within my life; and that I have been given a chance to glimpse, observe, and participate in.

We departed the shores of San Diego, on October 12, 2008, on a cool evening, as my husband, his brother, his wife, and my siter-in-laws brother all waved goodbye to the pacific shores we left behind.

This was the longest cruise I had ever taken or been on.

But before we even traveled more that 100 knots, we were summonsed to a passenger boat drill to insure everyone’s safety. Although, minutes before, my sweet, hubby, Chris, left our room; on a heroic search to find ice cubes.

I ask you. What was he doing looking for ice cubs at a time like this? After more then 5 minutes of wondering curiously, I began to get a bit frantic.

Where was he when I needed him the most?

As on our last voyages to sea, he was right by my side to help me tie my life jacket to my person.

This time, however, his timing was off, and got discombobulated by where our cabin was laid out.

So I pulled out our life jackets from the closet and proceeded to walk to my destination point with concern.

Over a hundred people passed me by to get to their designated station.

Fortunately, for me, while walking, I found all my family members except for Chris, whom I wanted to, find the most!

Then, after a few moments of worrying and laughing, with my family jokester, my husband almost pasted me by.

“Hay honey, where do you think you’re going?”

As I tried to direct and real him in with my voice, while my newly adopted brother-in-law, Willie, was making me, and his sister Laura, giggle uncontrollably.

After we were all lined up like penguins, four sort bells and one long bell rang as we were dismissed to go, and play.

We were off to commenced voyage to Cabo San Lucas where clear skies and fresh gales awaited us.

Port after port, my mind took hold on the vastness of what I was seeing.

I tried to capture pictures both in my mind, and with my photo lens, as I snapped the images that reach out and touched me the most.

Harbor after harbor, I saw the poverty of the Mexican people.

Yet, I also saw an attitude of desperateness, need, kindness, and gentleness longing in their eyes everywhere I went.

Not like in the United States where greed saturates our country, and our hearts and minds.

These men, women, and children are grateful even through much haggling takes place in the market place and amongst the streets.

They struggle with a reminder everyday of what we take for granted.

While riding on a bus into Guaymas and Topolobampo, the passengers were told by the guide of the great destruction from a hurricane not more than two or three days before we arrived in their city.

The guide explained how in some parts of the city there was no infrastructure as it was just whipped out. Nevertheless, these men, women, and children pick themselves up and continue on only eighty dollars a week.

It reminds me of what so many of our people go through in trying to carve out a living in our world.

This is a direct representation, of the subtle injustice, that most of us in the disabled community deal with every day of their lives.

The next day we docked in Loreto, where my two brother-in-laws hailed a cab. Boy what a ride that was!

When we started out, everything was smooth riding; as we saw the sites of the most rich and famous in their town.

And hotels right off the water’s edge.

But then, things got real bumpy!

We were out for a ride of our lives!

Instead of taking a paved road thirty minutes out of town, to an old Mission we wanted to see, we wound up taking a path that almost threw my husband for a loop.

The car we were using was not a four wheel drive. This lack of amenity made it difficult to travel and also unnerve my husband to no end.

He was pulling his hair out with disgust, revolt, and fear.

There were so many rocks, river beds, and obstacles to cross, that it sometime seemed “that we might not make it to the church on time.”

Once we hand gotten out of the cab, seen the sites, and had delicious casadia’s, and tacos; the road and return home proved much easier on everybody.

I truly felt a family connection with the taxi drivers, too.

Through laughter, communication and connection, in their native tongue, and having married into a family that speaks the language fluently, it made the excursion and trip that much more comfortable, warm, exciting, valuable, and inviting.

Especially, our last stop! When my husband, my family, and I; visited the port of Puerto Vallarta.

The cab stopped to let us observe the breath taking sculptures, to cross the street, and to visit and take snapshots of the awe inspiring sand castles.

And oops! Yes, you got it!

The street was so full of pot holes, rounded rocks, and gullies, that I took a flying leap into a hole, all by my little ol’ lonesome.

Nobody by my side but me-

I was walking alone and stepped right into it!

Thank God no one hit me!

And thank God, I did not break a foot, or leg, and that it was our last dock to visit!

If I were in the United States, I would have been terrified to be further hurt.

Thankfully, I wasn’t.

Thankfully all I got was a very, very sprain ankle and calve.

Someone else in my shoes, or position, would have sulked, gone back to the ship, and perhaps, even gone home, but I didn’t!

The experience was not easy, as I was in pain, and could not walk like I normally do, but I found a way to keep smiling like I always do.

In my mind I knew this was a trip and a moment of a life time.

I knew it was truly a gift and so worth while.

Moreover, I knew that I might never ever get this kind of opportunity or chance to take in these majestic marvels again, so I forgot about my discomfort and smiled a ray of sunlight for Gods beautiful landscape, and backdrop.

I also was shown how unconditionally I was loved and cared for by my family and complete strangers.

Thus, I immediately found gratitude in my own heart, and found new positive ways, to continue on my journey with gratification in my own inner self and being.

My positive attitude, along with all my past triumph and tribulations, gave me a wonderful, exuberant energy, and willingness to make the best of a difficult situation for all involved.

I was so accommodating, that we went forward to visit the cost line’s and city scapes with pure pleasure and delight.

So, with a bag of ice cubs, surrounding my leg, we visited an organic distillery, where all types of wine and liqueurs were made, and we drove to Casa Kimberly.

For those of you who do not know what Casa Kimberly is, it is now a bed and breakfast.

Although in the early sixties, it was where Liz Taylor’s, and Richard Burton’s had their home.

One could see the pink remaining bridge that linked the two homes together.

Even though I tripped and fell at my last port, I can’t express to my readers how wonderful, breathtaking, and joyous my time in Mexico and on the ship was.

Travel is something I feel is very vital, freeing, emancipating, and uplifting for us all, but especially for the disabled community.

The more communicative, active, visible, and perceptible we become, the more we partake in life precious activities; it cultures, and joys of the world, the more we can breakdown the stereotypes, and promote the truths of our lives and beings.

Send your comments and questions to nathasha@audacitymagazine.com . ]]> http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2008/11/11/a-trip-of-thanksgiving/feed/ 0