Discovering The Sensual Side In You

Karen Lynn shared her secret of developing her own self worth that led to more than twenty years of marital bliss. Natasha Alvarez explored aspects of infidelity as experienced by people with disabilities.

The sex lives of people with disabilities are far from nonexistent and anything but boring. No matter what your current level of satisfaction or relationship status, everyone can benefit from learning to FEEL sexy. Sensuality practice is accessible to all!

Sensuality is different from sexuality. It can certainly contribute to a rewarding expression of a satisfying sex life, but it involves a deeper sense of awareness that often occurs outside of the bedroom.

It’s an attitude and a determination to focus on each of our five senses. Sensuality practice is free.

You can do it alone or with a partner. To reap the most benefits, dedicate a full week to intense focus on one of each of the five senses. Pay particular attention to the smaller, sensual experiences of life that you may have missed before.

Here are some suggestions:

Vision: Pay attention to the colors that make you feel your best. Notice the type of lighting in public, private, and intimate settings. Find a physical feature on your partner that is completely unique. For an entire day, observe the lips, eyes, or hands of people you encounter.

Hearing: Close your eyes when talking to your partner or close friend on the phone. Listen to the quality of their voice and hear your own from a different perspective. Open a window. Listen to the breeze or the buzzing traffic. Find out what sounds or types of music bring out your sensual side.

Touch: Visit a lingerie store and choose an item strictly for the beauty of its touch. Pick out your outfit for an evening at home based on the texture of the clothes. When air touches the skin, it excites nerve endings. Experiment with a level of bareness at home or in public that makes you feel comfortable, confident, and sensual.

Taste: What foods do you consider sexy? Plan a meal around foods that differ greatly in color and texture. Pay attention to the environment where you eat. Experiment with sour, spicy, hot, and cold foods to make your taste buds feel alive.

Smell: Apply your favorite perfume whether or not you’re going out for the day or night. Take note of the smells we associate with sensuality. Many people with disabilities cannot tolerate perfumes and artificial scents. Be considerate of these differences and appreciate natural smells, like grass and rain.

Sensuality practice can be readily adapted for people that may have sensory disabilities. Developing a keen awareness for the absence or limited experience of a sense is equally important to focusing our efforts on what’s happening in the present.

Developing your sensuality is one important way to kick up your confidence. Being sexy is less about what we look like and more about what we feel. Live in the moment, appreciate all of your senses, and reap the rewards of becoming an audaciously sensual person with a disability.

Kara Ayers is a newlywed (formerly Kara Sheridan) freelance writer and therapist who has Osteogenesis Imperfecta. A former Paralympian, Ayers is now a passionate advocate for disability rights. She lives in Northern Kentucky with her husband and two beloved bulldogs. She enjoys comments and questions from readers and can be reached at writekara@gmail.com.

Bonefish Grill

In Miami, there are numerous restaurants that boast about their great food, service, and atmosphere. People clamor to the latest new restaurant seeking to experience this excellent cuisine only to leave with a heavy heartburn and a lighter wallet.

However, Bonefish Grill located in Kendall delivers a relaxing atmosphere with style, a friendly staff with knowledgeable waiters and simply delicious food.

Everyone at my work who eats there raves about Bonefish Grill. My neighborhood has many overly priced restaurants that don’t always live up to their bragging.

I really hesitated to give Bonefish Grill but word of mouth advertising got the best of me.

When we got there, we found the restaurant located on the corner of a small new strip mall. In the front of the restaurant, comfortable beige looking beach patio furniture greets the customer and most importantly it doesn’t obstruct the sidewalk or the ramp for the disabled parking spots.

It is early evening and there is no waiting time because we have reservations. But, reservations are not required. Bonefish Grill is clean, sophisticated and unpretentious.

At first the music is too loud and maintaining a conversation or listening to the waiter state the day’s specials becomes difficult to hear. We inform the waiter that the music was a bit too much and he not only agrees with us but manages to lower it enough so that the relaxing atmosphere is not compromised but we can actually hold a conversation.

The customers are from all walks of life. Some people are dressed in their best outfits and others enter with shorts and a t-shirt. There are the enamored couples and the happy family groups scattered throughout the restaurants.

Although there are many people in the restaurant, the customers are evenly distributed. This is a plus for me. I can’t stand when restaurants clump people. I don’t even understand the logic to it.

It appears the hostess knows that at restaurants it is best to seat people with commonalities. All families with sweet adorable crying babies to the right, parties of five or more with them and those people looking for some quality time with their loved one to the left.

Although I didn’t need to use the restroom, I went to inspect it to make sure that it met with Audacity readers’ approval. So what does the bathroom say? Elegance! The stall for the disabled person is roomy enough for a scooter, clean enough to want to enter, and beautifully decorated. If I have to make one suggestion, it would be that the first door to enter can be tricky to maneuver.

And now for the food review. Drum roll please! The best part of the entire meal is the crab cake appetizers. They are so delicious. Living in Miami, a person can find crab cakes in just about every restaurant establishment that serves seafood but these crab cakes are heavenly. Not greasy, flakey or overcooked. The presentation is beautiful. I can actually see what I am eating.

The rest of the meal was tasty and satisfying from the Chilean Sea Bass entrée to the brownie and vanilla ice cream dessert that was moist, sweet and satisfying.

Bonefish Grill definitely receives top raves. The meals are pricey so it isn’t exactly the place to eat at on a regular basis but it is the place to celebrate a special day or grab some quality time with a loved one and know that your money was well spent.

This definitely hits the G-Spot at Audacity Magazine!

Bonefish Grill is located at 12520 SW 120th Street
Miami, Florida 33186

Diego Trotz is the proprietor.

The National Archives Building

The National Archives Building recently underwent a major renovation project that would update the building and provide better access for people with disabilities.

It reopened to the public on September 18 of this year. Now everyone, no matter what their physical disability, can get up close with the Declaration of Independence, The Constitution and the Bill of Rights (collectively known as the Charters of Freedom).

Now, the main entrance located on Constitution Avenue near 9th Street NW is wheelchair accessible, however the doors are not automated (something I plan on writing a letter about). Previously wheelchair users and those with mobility impairments were required to enter through a backdoor, which was kind of a mockery of freedom. Once inside, elevators can take you up to the Rotunda, where the Charters of Freedom are displayed.

The display area is quite an improvement over the previous version; before wheelchair users had to go up a steep ramp to get near the charters and even then all you can really see was the Declaration of Independence, from a distance. Now, wheelchair users can go right up to the charters and actually get pretty close (well, at least as close as everyone else). No ramps, thank God!

Tom’s NFL Club

What do people look for in a great sports bar? I went searching for the answer by patronizing some of the nearby sports bars in Miami, Florida. I went to Corbett’s sports bar in Pinecrest. Supposedly, it was supposed to be one of the best in Miami. I found it rather confining for two wheelchairs even when it was empty. The food and price were average. We had to literally chase down the waitresses for assistance. Overall, we were not pleasantly pleased.

However, we continued to search by visiting Flanningan’s, a Florida restaurant franchise, with delicious food. Although, it is pricey we can’t say no to their appetizers and daily specials. There are televisions located everywhere. The problem is that we have to really stretch our necks to see the television because the booths make it difficult to view for a disabled person in a wheelchair. The bathrooms are roomy and accessible so that is a plus. It is better to go there for lunch or dinner than to see a sports game.

We thought we would never find the place to hang out and really root for our favorite teams. As we were about to give up the search we stumbled across Tom’s NFL Club located at 5001 NW 36 Street in Miami Springs, Florida. That place smelled and looked like a sports bar. It is extremely large with an area for families with underage children who can shoot pool or play coin slot games while watching every imaginable sports game on the numerous televisions located around the room.

On the other side of the bar is what I refer to as the Fanatic Frenzy Room. It is usually packed with Dolphin fans.

People like myself who don’t exactly appreciate the Fins team should be weary of showing any excitement for the opposing team around these people. Their passion runs deep which makes the atmosphere that much livelier. Any one 21 years or older with a passion for sports should definitely check out this bar. Televisions are set up for every game in every television station. There is even a projection tv on the wall for the main events.

The atmosphere is a mixture of the customers and the helpful service. It feels like a rowdier Cheers. Strangers high five each other after touchdowns. Waitresses stop serving to see the replay and the manager moves around the room to mingle with the patrons.

The menu has a variety of food to cover the four hours that is generally the average customer’s stay. The prices are fair. The best part is that the waitresses and the busboys don’t make the customers feel as if they must continue to order for the duration of the games.

Overall, the place definitely gets the Touchdown Thumbs Up. But, yeah there is always a but, the place needs to fix a few areas to welcome the disabled community. The entrance ramps need to be remodified. They are all too steep. This is a doable situation and not very expensive.

After spending hours at a restaurant, what is the most important room? The bathroom! Unfortunately, the ladies restroom for the disabled needs a key from the waitress. It is located in the hotel adjacent to the bar. Although the bathroom is large enough for a gigantic scooter, the floor is slippery from the humidity. These accomodations are reasonable and not that costly yet the amount of business that it can generate the establishment can, shall we say, priceless!
If you know a place that hits the G-Spot for the disabled community let us know about it. Write your review and send it to nathasha@audacitymagazine.com along with your name, age, location and disability.

Norman’s Restaurant

Dining out can be expensive but every now and then you want to feast in elegance and comfort. Norman’s Restaurant located at 21 Almeria Avenue in Miami, Florida is that perfect place.

The service is warm, friendly and professional unlike that cold feeling of some posh restaurants. We arrived earlier than our reservation time and they lead us to our table instead of the bar with the high counters to have cocktails. The two story restaurant with large windows is surrounded by wine bottles with personalized autographs from various celebrities like Francis Ford Coppola. Soft lively sounds of Billy Ocean play in the background.

Before we could even order an appetizer, we were presented with the Chef’s offering to tempt our palette. Every bite we took the rest of the evening was so delicious that writing this review is giving me a craving for Roasted Pork “Havana” with “21st Century” Mole, Golden Haitian Grits, Black Bean Salsa and a Spanish Sherry Wine Reduction. The price $29.50 is a bit extravagant for a normal entree but nothing at Norman’s is normal. It’s exquisite. Michael had the Pecan Crusted, Louisiana Catfish with Fried Green Tomato, Mashed Sweet Potatoes, Collard Greens and a Lemon-Bacon-Peanut-Scallion Butter for $29.00. The desserts were the perfect end to a perfect meal and a memorable evening.

There are three locations across the country in Los Angeles, California, and Orlando and Miami, Florida. Not enough praise can be given to Norman’s and their staff. If I could make one suggestion, it would be to remove the chairs that were in the hallway before the entrance to the restrooms. The staff graciously apologized for the inconvenience as they rearranged the chairs to make room for my wheelchair. Once inside the restroom, I found everything to be quite accessible.

My thanks to this wonderful restaurant. For some disabled people on a fixed budget, Norman’s may seem a bit too expensive but if there is ever chance for you to go there say “Yes!” quickly because there are some things that money can buy.

The District

Besides being the capital of the United States, Washington D.C. (or as the locals refer to it “The District”) is also home to some particularly wonderful museums. Most of these museums are relatively accessible, however one stands out as a shining example of what good accessibility can be. That is the National Gallery of Art on the National Mall.

The accessibility features can be seen in the post-ADA sculpture garden as well as the 1970s east building and the original west building of the 1930s. Of course, it helps that this museum is funded partly by Congress who despite all their wrangling manage to do some good things.

Outside: Getting to the Museum is easy for wheelchair users, through the nearby Metrorail station (the entire system is accessible) and driving. There are about a dozen nearby handicapped parking spaces; spaces are located directly in front of the east building and along Madison Drive. To enter the west building it is necessary to go around the building, but it isn’t far and is completely level. There are two wheelchair accessible entrances, one in the east building (4th Street) and one in the west building (Constitution Avenue), unfortunately the main entrance to the west building has about 30 stairs. One entrance has a button activated door and other is monitored by the guards who will open the door.

Inside the Museum: Elevators provide access to all levels of the Museum and are located throughout. An underground concourse provides a direct connection between the two buildings of the Museum and is completely accessible. There are many moderately accessible bathrooms, including one with button activated doors. There are also to companion restrooms for people who require assistance, one on the Mezzanine Level of the East Building and one on the Main Level of the West Building in the hallway by the men’s restroom.

Of course, a visit to the National Gallery would not be complete without a visit to one of the foodservice areas. There are at least four. All the restaurants are accessible, including the Pavilion Cafe in the Museum’s sculpture garden which has push button activated doors and moderately accessible restrooms.

Now of course, accessibility is not only measured in physical access. Staff members and guards are all very helpful and more than willing to help you out. If you get lost or simply do not know where an accessible restroom is, just ask and guards will usually take you to them. Also, recently someone complained to the Museum that one of their very large paintings by Salvador Dali was in a stairwell and was not viewable by someone using a wheelchair. The Museum responded and within a reasonable amount of time located a new display area for the painting and relocated the painting.

So, as you can see the National Gallery of Art has transformed itself into one of the most accessible museums in Washington D.C. I certainly hope than anyone who visits the city takes advantage of this wonderful institution. Hopefully, the accessibility is so good that you don’t even have to think about it. And if you do have to think about it, let me know and I will reimburse you for admission!

OKAY! You got me.

The Museum is free to get in. ;)

Play Ball!

ProPlayer Stadium is located near the border line between Dade County and Broward County of South Florida. It is the home of the Miami Dolphins and the Florida Marlins. It is now my sports home as well. Four of us, all in wheelchairs went to see the Florida Marlins play last Saturday. We were hoping to try out the clubhouse seats priced at $32 per person. We ended up paying $18 per person for a clubhouse suite! Now that is the right way to start the visit.

The employees at ProPlayer were extremely helpful, courteous and friendly. We were there 90 minutes before game time because my friend insisted we needed to get the bobbleheads that were given out at the gate. Since that was too early to enter the seating area, the staff directed us to a luxurious waiting area decorated with memorbilia of the Marlins. It was conveniently located near the elevator that would take us to our level.

Have you ever seen in the sport movies those clubseats where the team owners congregate to view the sporting event? That is what we saw! There is a disable clubhouse box with disabled door openers on each side of the room. Six small televisions with remote control, two sofas, a long counter, kitchen, and grill.

The best part was the mixture between air condition and the outdoors using the glass sliding doors as the controling device.

Our food was brought to us by the stadium’s personal attendant who took our orders and returned as many times as we requested. The disabled bathroom, clean and large, was across the hall. The overview of the stadium was fabulous.

Although, I had been at ProPlayer Stadium before, this was my first time in the clubhouse seats. I highly recommend ProPlayer as the model for which other stadiums to follow when accomodating the disabled.

It truly hit the G-Spot.