Category: Life With Laura
Something to ponder: Is a disability a weakness or strength?
Interesting question, isn’t it? One that, if you’re like me, you’ve never really considered. But, somewhere in that warm abyss between wakefulness and sleep, that question came to me. There was no provocation for it; it was simply there.
In another life, another situation, under different circumstances, I could have been a beach person. If I do some extremely deep soul-searching, I find that I am a beach person. I’m a beach person who can’t enjoy the beach because of physical limitations of the world around her.
For, well, 23 years, I’ve been pretty sure that the reason I can’t meet a guy or get a guy I do meet to date me has had to do with my chair. Now, I’m second-guessing that theory.
I’ve jumped back into the fray of online dating. I’ve signed up on a couple of dating sites. (Only free ones. I’m not quite desperate enough to spend money to meet a guy.) But, they haven’t exactly been a boon of potential dates. In fact, I’ve only been approached by two men: the first contacted me twice, was my father’s age and offered to pay me to allow him to perform an act that someone should only want to do for free. I quickly blocked him from any contact. The second was younger, but still much too old for me.
I’m not interested in being Laura Stinson, disabled writer. No, I just want to be Laura Stinson, writer. I hate the idea of being identified by my disability, with my chosen career being just happenstance. I don’t want to be Laura with the disability who just happens to write; I want to be Laura the writer who just happens to be disabled.
“You’re really good at that.” “You’re so lucky.” “I bet that’s fun.” “I wish I had one of those.”
If I was being politically correct, I would chalk it up to ignorance. Since I’m being honest, I’m going to chalk it up to just plain stupidity.
If you’re in a wheelchair, I’m willing to bet you’ve heard any number of variations on the above comments plus dozens of others. I have never really understood what people see when they see me. Some kind of anomaly because I can maneuver my chair in tight situations? A woman blessed with wheels to make it easier to move from place to place? What?
