Karen Lynn shared her secret of developing her own self worth that led to more than twenty years of marital bliss. Natasha Alvarez explored aspects of infidelity as experienced by people with disabilities.
The sex lives of people with disabilities are far from nonexistent and anything but boring. No matter what your current level of satisfaction or relationship status, everyone can benefit from learning to FEEL sexy. Sensuality practice is accessible to all!
Sensuality is different from sexuality. It can certainly contribute to a rewarding expression of a satisfying sex life, but it involves a deeper sense of awareness that often occurs outside of the bedroom.
It’s an attitude and a determination to focus on each of our five senses. Sensuality practice is free.
You can do it alone or with a partner. To reap the most benefits, dedicate a full week to intense focus on one of each of the five senses. Pay particular attention to the smaller, sensual experiences of life that you may have missed before.
Here are some suggestions:
Vision: Pay attention to the colors that make you feel your best. Notice the type of lighting in public, private, and intimate settings. Find a physical feature on your partner that is completely unique. For an entire day, observe the lips, eyes, or hands of people you encounter.
Hearing: Close your eyes when talking to your partner or close friend on the phone. Listen to the quality of their voice and hear your own from a different perspective. Open a window. Listen to the breeze or the buzzing traffic. Find out what sounds or types of music bring out your sensual side.
Touch: Visit a lingerie store and choose an item strictly for the beauty of its touch. Pick out your outfit for an evening at home based on the texture of the clothes. When air touches the skin, it excites nerve endings. Experiment with a level of bareness at home or in public that makes you feel comfortable, confident, and sensual.
Taste: What foods do you consider sexy? Plan a meal around foods that differ greatly in color and texture. Pay attention to the environment where you eat. Experiment with sour, spicy, hot, and cold foods to make your taste buds feel alive.
Smell: Apply your favorite perfume whether or not you’re going out for the day or night. Take note of the smells we associate with sensuality. Many people with disabilities cannot tolerate perfumes and artificial scents. Be considerate of these differences and appreciate natural smells, like grass and rain.
Sensuality practice can be readily adapted for people that may have sensory disabilities. Developing a keen awareness for the absence or limited experience of a sense is equally important to focusing our efforts on what’s happening in the present.
Developing your sensuality is one important way to kick up your confidence. Being sexy is less about what we look like and more about what we feel. Live in the moment, appreciate all of your senses, and reap the rewards of becoming an audaciously sensual person with a disability.
Kara Ayers is a newlywed (formerly Kara Sheridan) freelance writer and therapist who has Osteogenesis Imperfecta. A former Paralympian, Ayers is now a passionate advocate for disability rights. She lives in Northern Kentucky with her husband and two beloved bulldogs. She enjoys comments and questions from readers and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.