We have twitter, facebook, myspace, and hundreds of other social media networks, yet there was no overwhelming demand to pressure NBC to give equal air time for the Paralympics? What’s the point of social media if it discriminates against the disabled?

But the media is there when they want to air shows about little people right? I am a short stature person and I don’t even watch all of those little people shows. It’s not even about their acting, it’s about society’s curiosity into the lives of little people. Well, why aren’t they curious about the Paralympic athletes?

Who doesn’t want to see amputees race to the finish line? Wheelchair users compete on the tracks? Skiing? Yes! These people deserve our attention and support.

Even official sponsors like Coca Cola and McDonalds should demand air time for the Paralympians. And yet, there is this silence. It’s so silent that it’s driving me crazy!

I feel the physically disabled are being used by the media. We are good for reality shows, like Little People, Big World, Little People: Just Married and Pit Boss. We are necessary for talk shows like Maury Povich and Montel Williams. We make great reasons for a new home on Extreme Home Makeovers. But now, when it’s time to see people with disabilities go for the gold medal there is no show of support? Why?

People say that a petition has gone around. Woopee do da ! A petition doesn’t help unless a law is going to be passed. We need major media attention this in your face discrimination!Why haven’t the disabled people in the media spotlight done something? They have the camera on them all the time! Speak up! Support the Paralympians! This is as much a responsibility as for you as it is for all of us who are not in front of the camera.

Why hasn’t ABC and TLC felt pressure from the people they use to get their ratings up?

Matt Roloff said that we need to stop being crabs in a bucket, pulling each other down. I agree! Let’s start by helping each other up. Let the world know you are not happy that the United States of America which boasts about equality is ignoring the athletes who will be competing for the goal and representing our country. Shame on NBC for thinking that America doesn’t want to view these athletes who will proudly compete in such a way that will keep the viewers in awe!

As people with physical disabilities, we can’t let this go another year! We must demand it this year! We want the Paralympics to be aired the same way the Olympics were aired.

Let these official sponsors know that when we go to buy their products or services, we pay the same price as everyone else. You want my loyalty? You want my money? Give me a reason. Let me know that I count. If I count then show it! Air the Paralympics with the same pride and glory that you aired the Olympics!

Pass this article to everyone you know. If they are disabled they should pass it on without even having to be asked. If they aren’t disabled they should do it if they feel you are as equal to them.

Email this to official Olympic and Paralympic sponsors. Send it to NBC! Send to the everyone!Huffington Post! The View! 20/20. Your local news! Everyone! This is as much your responsibility as it is theirs.

Give these athletes the respect they deserve because they have earned just like the Olympic athletes!

If this is the land of equality then show it!

For example, the area where I live is serviced by the company, Zuni Transportation. I would make my phone call to reserve next day service before 5 pm. Then, Zuni would be given my trip and they would be the only ones to transport me anywhere in Miami Dade County, which is a pretty big county for $3.00 each way. This was a great concept because the drivers got to know the passengers and vice versa. The familiarity helped clients who for whatever reason felt hesitant to ride with a stranger.

Almost three years ago, ATS found out that one of its managers, Tesla Narvaez, was booking fraudulent trips and in cahoots with other drivers. Here is the kicker, she was also a client who used the service since she needed a wheelchair to get around. Just goes to show that even the disabled can be corrupted. After ATS found out, they reported it with signed confessions.

The next thing you know, the county is in an uproar and they do an investigation which seems absolutely logical and people get arrested, including Tesla Narvaez. However, the part that doesn’t sit well with me is the way the county is handling future transportation for the disabled.  The contract with ATS will end in March and instead of having open bids for a new contract which was put together by a group of people including myself, the county has decided that only certain companies can talk to them about gaining the new contract. Is that legal? Is it ethical? I don’t think so.

Turns out one of the companies is MV Transportation. That is another curve down this slippery road. I did some research on this company and you can too, by googling news reports on them. They seem to make some type of headlines that would make a Miami Paratransit passenger want to stay home if MV were handling the trip. Is the county concerned for our safety or saving a few bucks?

If that isn’t enough, there is a terrible rumor that people will have to call the county hotline 3-1-1 to make their trips. Have you seen the number of calls logged in? http://www.miamidade.gov/infocenter/311_fact_sheet.asp

Incoming Calls
(from October 1 -September 31)

Miami Dade County Paratransit was one of the best if not the best transportation service for people with disabilities based on my research several years ago. I researched companies all over the United States including Hawaii and nothing compared to the service in Miami. Our hours of operation were better, hours to make reservation and late vehicle calls were more convenient and overall the service covered more land and more people than any other service in the country. With so much to be proud of, the county now wants to hand over reservations to a call center that handles dead animal pick ups. Will I be riding with a dead German Shepard in order to save the county gas?

But let’s look at the other side of the coin, in all of my 20 years riding Miami’s Paratransit service, ATS has been the most accommodating company! Previous companies would turn a blind eye and a deaf ear regarding our complaints and suggestions to improve its service. For example, when Zuni Transportation first started out, there was much to be said for it but Jorge Azor, one of the owners, took people’s suggestions and complaints very seriously and today it is one of the best transportation companies around.

The rest of the companies under ATS have also improved throughout the years and have made a comfortable bond with its riders.  In fact, this past month at the county meeting, the provider and the clients were fighting on the same side. As passengers, we want to keep ATS!

Yes, a few rotten apples have left a nasty taste in our mouth but should we get rid of the goods ones altogether? If we did that in every company or organization, we would never have any hospitals, schools or governments. The county is taking this fraudulent situation to change the system in their favor and against the very people it’s supposed to help: the disabled.

Rumor has it that people who might be getting laid off in the county will be transferred to the call center to do what ATS’s experienced staff can do and for less money then what the county will be paying its employees. Does that sound reasonable? Does it even sound responsible? Did I forget to mention that ATS employs numerous people with physical disabilities that have been with the company for more than 10 years? Where will they go to get another job? All that training to get excellent service will be taken away because of the actions of a few?

Other rumors have it that the hours of service will be greatly reduced. At the moment, I can book by 5pm for anytime of the day or night. Do you have any idea how liberating that is for the disabled?

It finally gives us the opportunity to live like the able bodied community. We can go to dance clubs, parties, festivals, visit relatives during the holidays, go to school, get jobs without having to worry about the last pick up or if it is on a holiday or if they are even open during those hours.

I hear from my other friends in other cities who use similar services and they tell me that they can’t go out on certain days or certain hours and that they have to book trips one week in advance and even then they might be told that no more reservations will be accepted. What is that? Sounds like a communist thing to me.

Instead of the county making a U-turn back into the days of terrible routing, nasty vehicles, rude service and the passenger’s urge to no longer want to take trips, they should have an open bid for the new contract, allow ATS to bid in the RFP, and ensure that the county’s reputation of giving the best transportation service to the disabled in the country stays as their number one priority. Don’t allow the actions of a few to ruin the lives of thousands!

Dear John is a romantic story of the rebellious John Tyree and the simple Savannah Curtis.  Sparks was able to tie in many interesting topics into one amazing book that include life of a military man and family, charitable acts, as well as the condition known as Asperger.  While hearing about the book, one would know about the first two topics previously listed, however reviewers and Sparks was able to keep the most interesting topic out of the limelight: Asperger.

The book starts out by allowing the reader to know that the narrator, John Tyree himself, was raised in Wilmington, N.C.  John was, again, quite the rebellious teenager growing up with only his father who seemed like he was the most laidback parent anyone could ask for.  He never punished John nor chatted with him about life’s day to day struggles, but he had no problem discussing his love of collecting coins while doing day-to-day activities on the same schedule every day.  John thought these types of traits were great as a young boy, but as he grew older, he realized that he needed more out of his father and life.  John always felt that he and his father really had nothing in common. Furthermore, the lack of guidance confused John as to what direction he should take in life.  After a few young adult years watching those around him wasting their lives by drinking and accomplishing absolutely nothing, John decided to enlist in the US Army.

During one of his leaves from the Army, he met Savannah, a senior at UNC, who was spending her summer building houses for those without.  Savannah was very much interested in those that didn’t have in their lives what she cherished in hers.  Because of this, her dream was to become a therapist for those with special needs.

John and Savannah spent two fleeting weeks together learning about each other meeting his father and simply falling in love, while he was on leave.  Just before it was time for him to go back to Germany, Savannah, after getting to know John’s father, bought John a book on Asperger as a gift for him to read and learn more about.  Of course this made John furious as he was bombarded with “accusations” that something was “wrong” with his father.  Long story short, John took the gift in which he was reunited with his father in the life that only his father knew about.

If you love stories about simple and true love, then I highly recommend it, but make sure to have tissues at hand whether you read the book, or I assume, watch the movie when it is released.

I can’t say this enough. The public loves the accommodations for the physically disabled but hates to acknowledge their true purpose or even support us on tough stands like equality and acceptance into society. If they want to share our throne they should share our other issues that go with that throne.

For example, look at the picture of this Barnes and Noble bathroom in Miami, Florida. What’s wrong with this picture?
Many public establishments claim to be wheelchair friendly but they fall short on their boasting. You would think a company like Barnes and Noble with all of their knowledge would realize how physically impossible it would be for a person in a wheelchair to use this bathroom. Have you spotted the problem?

If you haven’t then think of the steps you must take to use any bathroom. At the end, you have to wash your hands and wouldn’t it be nice if you could reach the soap?

Thanks to my sister, Ingrid Alvarez, I carry my own little bottle of soap sanitizer. But if that wasn’t enough, look at the other picture. How can anyone find the toilet paper? Once I found it, I had to struggle to make the roll ROLL!

What's wrong with this picture?

Who can find the toilet paper?

True story. In the UK, there will be a reality show “Cast Off” parodying the USA show, “Survivor”. According to the article, in this link, the goal is to show how messed up we are just like our able bodied counterparts. Ahh! Isn’t that sweet?

Imagine that, disabled people stuck on an island. I used to think about that all the time when Survivor first aired in America. I had a feeling that I would be booted out simply because I couldn’t do as much of the physical work as the others but I wasn’t about to sell myself short. I knew that if I was placed on a rock near the water, I could sit there all day and catch fish because most people can’t handle sitting down all day long. Sitting was something I did for a living.

I also knew that I could help when it came to the intellectual activities. I had seen several buff men and women who were dumber than the rocks they had to lug back and forth during competitions. I would be the brains behind it all. But, something more important was stopping me from thinking I could ever be a part of such an experience.

Luxury. Not a spa or computer type of luxury but the luxury to go to the bathroom by myself. I found it impossible to have someone help me dig a hole in the ground, help me to the ground, and then back up to my wheelchair. Nevermind, the fact that it is impossible to move around on sand in a wheelchair and that usually the contestants are thrown off a boat and forced to swim the rest of the way to the island. While I can swim, I don’t think I could swim and haul my wheelchair with me. Perhaps one of the reward competitions would be a new wheelchair for the island?

I wish this show would be broadcasted in the USA but I have a feeling that since we are so politically correct, it wouldn’t make it through the first episode. I’d like to see how much damage or good it would serve the community of physically disabled people.

Who knows? It might one day spur a real reality show with disabled people and not disabled people who happen to be actors portraying real disabled people.

It hardly seems possible that I have been writing for Audacity Magazine for well over a year, now.

Every article I have written has been a new challenge.

Every article, I have written, has been as different as the article before. And every article I write comes from a place of understanding, compassion, and a sincere honesty to enlighten the non disabled community and connect to the physically disabled public.

I would definitely have to say, however, that they have all been like every other article in this magazine; connected with the one purpose of exploring the daily lives and feelings of the disabled community.

In a big, way, attempts have never been made to move beyond daily living skills, to understand and explore the other aspects of our lives. Thus, these articles, which I have written, have been crafted, created, and revealed to the public so that light may be shed.

I have seen articles here, on everything from learning to drive, to romance, travel, and remembering the great leaders of our past. I don’t know other than blogs, of a place, in which the great leaders of our community could gather together and express exactly what was on their minds.

This is invaluable, because it reminds all of us that we are not ever alone.

My experience, writing for Audacity Magazine, has not only made me more determined to move forward with my own life, but to experience writing for a prestigious magazine, when at one time, three and a half decades ago, I could not even form a constructive sentence by myself.

To be accepted by Audacity Magazine, has not only been a powerful experience for me, but it has reminded me that I was right!

I clung to the belief that I could learn, and I did. I clung to the belief that I had a right to an education and I got one. And, I clung to the awareness that I was going to make a mark on this world.

And, just like all of you, I have!

I have determined, in the depths of myself that, no one was going to define me. No one was going to tell me, or make me believe that I was less than what I was.

No one was going to take away the healthy self-esteem and autonomy I fought for.

But writing for this magazine has taken me a step further.

Each time, in every way, that I write another article, for this magazine; I am reminded of my own progress, and, I am reminded of all the other valuable gifts I have to share with the world.

Comments and questions: nathasha@audacitymagazine.com ]]> http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/07/28/136/feed/ 0 http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/07/23/can-you-hear-me-now/ http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/07/23/can-you-hear-me-now/#comments Thu, 23 Jul 2009 21:05:30 +0000 Glenda Barrett http://www.audacitymagazine.com/?p=132

At the age of fifty after recovering from a spinal fusion, I was diagnosed with Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disease, a neuromuscular disease that affects the peripheral nerves.

Shortly after I was fitted for an ankle brace and later four constructive foot and ankle surgeries. As I coped with all the changes, I noticed people began to treat me differently.

Being an independent woman, I didn’t know how to react when loved ones began babying me. It was hard for me to tell them that it made me feel more helpless than ever, but more than once like a toddler I’d say, “I want to do for myself!”

It seemed no one bothered to ask me what I wanted, even though I had no problem with my voice. I began to see I’d have to make some changes or I’d not be able to survive.

First, I decided to simplify my life thinking that would not be so hard. How wrong I was, it actually took me four years. I started by simply saying, “No!”

Because of a lot of pain and a low energy level I decided I needed to choose my friends carefully and let some go that were draining me. After waking up from a nap one day to the sound of someone screaming my name as they walked unexpectedly through my home, I decided from then on to lock the doors before I laid down.

Not only that, I made some changes with my e-mail and phone as well. I only returned the e-mails of close friends, and when I didn’t want to be disturbed I cut the ringer off on my phone and let the caller ID pick up the messages. When I felt rested, I returned my calls.

Another question no one seemed to ask was, “How can I help you?” Instead, they came to their own conclusions as to what I needed which usually was way off base.

For example when I came home from the hospital after my spinal fusion, I had to relearn how to walk again. Not only was it very painful but also difficult. More than once well meaning people would attempt to help me get in or out of a car, and I’d have to say, “No, thanks, I’ve got it!”

I’ll never forget the day I was standing in a crowd when a friend ran up and slapped me on the back saying, “Good to see you!” I almost buckled to my knees in pain.

As I look back, the hardest thing to deal with was getting people to really listen. Often I felt misunderstood. For example, each day I’d go to the grocery store so I could exercise and keep my spirits up. Even though I was having extreme muscle pain, I’d put on my makeup and get dressed up.

Invariably, I’d run into someone who would say, “How are you doing Glenda?” Before I could answer they would always say, “You look good!” On vulnerable days when I let my guard down and began to tell how I really felt I was bombarded with these kind of answers, “You know I have the same thing!”

Sometimes, they would simply change the subject to something trivial making me feel so alone and isolated.

At times like the commercial on TV about cell phones, I wanted to scream “Can you hear me now!” but I didn’t give in to that impulse. It wasn’t long, until I learned which friends I could confide it and which ones I couldn’t. I also found it was beneficial to go to a counselor to help manage my stress level since I had other problems in my life as well to cope with.

I also learned folks were only trying to comfort me but were not sure how to do it. They meant well.

I also found it was my responsibility to ask for what I needed which wasn’t easy either. And it was not easy to learn to say, “I’m sorry, I was having a bad day,” when I was irritable. I am still working on being kind and assertive at the same time.

It’s been five years now, and I’ve come a long way. As I sit typing this in my office filled with personal gifts and belongings that made me feel appreciated, I can look outside my window and see a female cardinal at the feeder.

In the meantime, I have a tape of Beethoven playing in my CD. When I tire of writing, I can sit at the other table and paint with my watercolors of oils. If I need a break I can call one of my caring friends who make me feel appreciated.

No, my problems have not gone away, they will continue to be a challenge, but I’ve created a sanctuary where I can go and rejuvenate my spirit. Yes, I’ve redefined my life. And to my surprise it is simple, peaceful and satisfying. It still amazes me how I was brought to this place in my life, kicking and screaming to find it suits me well.

How many people get to pursue their childhood dreams?

I’ve also learned to be very grateful for my friends and family and to realize they can’t read my mind. It is up to me to say, “I need your help!” And guess what, if they don’t hear me the first time, I’ll keep saying, “Can you hear me now?”

Email us your comments and questions to nathasha@audacitymagazine.com . ]]> http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/07/23/can-you-hear-me-now/feed/ 0 http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/07/12/discovering-the-sensual-side-in-you/ http://www.audacitymagazine.com/2009/07/12/discovering-the-sensual-side-in-you/#comments Sun, 12 Jul 2009 14:03:53 +0000 Kara Ayers http://www.audacitymagazine.com/?p=327 Karen Lynn shared her secret of developing her own self worth that led to more than twenty years of marital bliss. Natasha Alvarez explored aspects of infidelity as experienced by people with disabilities.

The sex lives of people with disabilities are far from nonexistent and anything but boring. No matter what your current level of satisfaction or relationship status, everyone can benefit from learning to FEEL sexy. Sensuality practice is accessible to all!

Sensuality is different from sexuality. It can certainly contribute to a rewarding expression of a satisfying sex life, but it involves a deeper sense of awareness that often occurs outside of the bedroom.

It’s an attitude and a determination to focus on each of our five senses. Sensuality practice is free. You can do it alone or with a partner. To reap the most benefits, dedicate a full week to intense focus on one of each of the five senses. Pay particular attention to the smaller, sensual experiences of life that you may have missed before.

Here are some suggestions:

Vision: Pay attention to the colors that make you feel your best. Notice the type of lighting in public, private, and intimate settings. Find a physical feature on your partner that is completely unique. For an entire day, observe the lips, eyes, or hands of people you encounter.

Hearing: Close your eyes when talking to your partner or close friend on the phone. Listen to the quality of their voice and hear your own from a different perspective. Open a window. Listen to the breeze or the buzzing traffic. Find out what sounds or types of music bring out your sensual side.

Touch: Visit a lingerie store and choose an item strictly for the beauty of its touch. Pick out your outfit for an evening at home based on the texture of the clothes. When air touches the skin, it excites nerve endings. Experiment with a level of bareness at home or in public that makes you feel comfortable, confident, and sensual.

Taste: What foods do you consider sexy? Plan a meal around foods that differ greatly in color and texture. Pay attention to the environment where you eat. Experiment with sour, spicy, hot, and cold foods to make your taste buds feel alive.

Smell: Apply your favorite perfume whether or not you’re going out for the day or night. Take note of the smells we associate with sensuality. Many people with disabilities cannot tolerate perfumes and artificial scents. Be considerate of these differences and appreciate natural smells, like grass and rain.

Sensuality practice can be readily adapted for people that may have sensory disabilities. Developing a keen awareness for the absence or limited experience of a sense is equally important to focusing our efforts on what’s happening in the present.

Developing your sensuality is one important way to kick up your confidence. Being sexy is less about what we look like and more about what we feel. Live in the moment, appreciate all of your senses, and reap the rewards of becoming an audaciously sensual person with a disability.

Kara Ayers is a newlywed (formerly Kara Sheridan) freelance writer and therapist who has Osteogenesis Imperfecta. A former Paralympian, Ayers is now a passionate advocate for disability rights. She lives in Northern Kentucky with her husband and two beloved bulldogs. She enjoys comments and questions from readers and can be reached at writekara@gmail.com.

One time a toothache that felt like someone had stepped on my brittle bone jaw needed serious dental work. At the time, I was receiving government assistance. I found out that once I turned 18 years of age, dental medical coverage was not included with medicare or medicaid.

My only option was the county hospital which required poor people like myself to be there on a certain day at a certain time for a first come first serve appointment. I was there at the crack of dawn. No lie!

Since I used paratransit to transport me there, I made sure to give myself enough time before the clinic opened. I was so naive into thinking that there couldn’t be that many people seeking a dentist. Unfortunately, half of Miami was already there ahead of me. I thought I would never see a dentist and my head was spinning like a flying saucer.

If it couldn’t get worse, I was instructed to get on a line to see if I qualified for this free dental work. Seriously, if I could have afforded a dentist, why would I be there?

Once I got my little blue plastic card, which is a waste of a card for a one time use, I went on another line to wait for a dentist.

Finally, my name was called. While I am petrified of going to see dentists with their eagerness to say open wide and prick me with a long, pointy, scary needle, it was nothing compared to the fear I felt when I was told that I would be seen by student dentists!

Yes, that’s right. These dentists were going to use me as a real guinea pig. Better yet, I was tiny and in a wheelchair with a brittle bone disease that affected my teeth! You couldn’t get that in a text book!

I sat in the dentist chair and stared back at all of these wanna be dentists who stared down at me. I was told that the tooth had to come out. What a relief! If these guys thought they had to work on the tooth I might come out with no teeth at all.

One of them shot me up with Novacaine. Unfortunately, I could still feel the tooth, the gums and the pain. They did it several more times. Still, no numbness.

They put their studious heads together and decided to call the head dentist. After he explained to the happy students that this was a good time to realize that someone with my disability might need more than the usual person because of the lack of something or other. I don’t think he knew what he was talking about that day. But he did tell me that this was unusual because of my small body I had already received enough novacaine to put a grown man down. I apologized for not suiting his needs.

He decided to give me the next shot. Lo and behold, I was numb. Then, you wouldn’t believe it if I told you. He used his finger to see if my tooth was wobbly and the tooth came out by itself! Just like that!

I left with major dizziness and I could barely talk. But I knew that I would no longer have pain. I left feeling as if I owed that man my life.

But once I got home and thought about the day, I was angry and resentful. It wasn’t my fault I didn’t have insurance. I wanted to work. I wanted to pay my own bills. I wanted a chance to be a grumbling taxpayer. But I wasn’t.

Although, some people like myself will be fortunate enough to have a job that gives health insurance, others will never be able to work because of their disability.

Should they suffer? Should they be forced to stay in their beds without any necessary medical attention? Where is the humanity?

Don’t government officials realize that these services help us to become productive citizens? If it weren’t for the services that I used before I had a job, life would have been much more difficult and frustrating.

How many people with disabilities are struggling to become independent people with medical needs that will be cut or eliminated?

Does the government prefer to turn a blind eye on the needs of a minority who never asked to be in this position in the first place?

When we, as a society, ignore the basic needs of humans, we can all consider ourselves emotionally CRIPPLED!

Questions and comments email us at nathasha@audacitymagazine.com .