Jacob Dylan Was Right

In Features, My Piece of the Sky, Opinion by Marelise Prinsloo Jacob

I never understood the complexity of love when I was younger. Not so much love, but relationships in particular.

Perhaps you loved someone, or thought you loved him, only to wake up one day and realize you have not seen him in your life for a long time.

You remember the times you had together, the way you felt when you were with him, but it all seems so far away now. Somehow somewhere you hear he has a new girlfriend, and even though you’ve had someone else in your life for some time – it still comes as a surprise. You can remember why you broke up, you know why it wouldn’t have worked out, but there was still something that made you like each other in the first place.

He could not be more different to the one I am with now even if he tried, they are complete opposites. I have a whole future planned out with my boyfriend; we have talked about our life together and about getting married one day.

But still, you cannot help yourself thinking back sometimes; to times you had with the one before. I remember late nights outside on the patio, drinking red wine and smoking our cigarettes. We talked about everything; art and religion, movies and music, the death of his father and how he was never able to cry about it. We went to the movies together, got drunk together, talked nonsense together. We were good friends before we became a couple and tried to remain so after we broke up.

But he made mistakes and I made mistakes and at the end we just drifted apart. I’m not in love with him anymore; I know I don’t love him anymore. I just miss the friend I once had. But you can’t really go back to the way things were when too many things have been done and said.

Nostalgia for old friends just seems to be natural at Christmas time. It’s the end of the year and some reason you tend to remember all the other years that came before. You remember all the things you used to do, and don’t do anymore. All the places you’ve been, things you’ve lost; like your favourite toy.

Bob Dylan’s son Jacob sums it all up the best in the song One headlight by his band the Wallflowers. He says “I haven’t changed, but I know I’m not the same.” It’s what you feel like at the end of the year, some dreams came true and some didn’t, sad things happened and bad things happened but in the end it all comes out okay at the other side.

Don’t dwell on the past but don’t let go to easily either, there are things forgotten that are worth remembering. Like your best friend in grade one, the family dog when you were little. Or late nights with your ex-boyfriend, getting drunk on cheap red wine while debating on the meaning of the universe. It might be over, but it sure was fun.