Let’s face it men are horn dogs! Men don’t care if a woman is disabled or not. If the woman is willing then he is ready. Therefore, disabled men have it tougher in life than women, at least when it comes down to the important areas (wink wink).
In a relationship, the male is seen as being the provider, the breadwinner, and as the protector. My sense is that most women want to know that they are going to be provided for; they want to be taken care of by the man. This puts an extreme amount of pressure on a disabled man who may not be able to do all of those things as easily as a non-disabled man. It’s all well and good to say that love will conquer all, but in my opinion, the reality of the subject is this: men in general have a hard enough time just meeting a woman and when it’s a disabled man, the finding becomes more challenging.
Before I met my lovely Nathasha, I met an able bodied girl in a bar one night. She and I struck up a conversation and I found out that she had worked with deaf people. She immediately began signing to me.
More than once, I had to remind her that my ears were fine, it’s my legs that can’t hear my brain telling them to move! Instead of seeing me for who I was, she automatically assumed that I was the same as the other disabled people she had encountered in her life. Sometimes, able bodied people lump all disabled people into one category.
There are also women who want to give you sympathy sex, or they are just curious to know what it is like to be with a disabled man. I always say, “Curiosity got them in the sack but satisfaction brought them back. But not before all the questions come out: “Does it hurt?”, “Can you walk?”, “Do you need help in the bathroom?”, and then the question of all questions, “Can you get a hard on?” Give me a dollar for every inch you choke on, lady!
Now, let’s say a disabled man actually develops a somewhat serious relationship with an able bodied woman, sooner or later one person starts to think about the future. If it isn’t her asking herself, “Who is going to mow the lawn?” or “Who is going to shovel the snow?” then it may be the man asking himself, “How will I protect her if we go somewhere?” and “How will I financially provide for her and our children?” Of course there are answers to these questions and there are reasonable solutions as well, but the fact is that these scenarios do exist and make life for a disabled man a bit more difficult than for an able bodied man.
As disabled men, we might have life a bit more difficult, but once we find our soul mate, the relationship obstacles we face, aren’t much different than those in an able bodied relationship. The answers to those hypothetical questions become more obvious and the walls between us come crumbling down.
Bottom line, if you are on a quest searching for that special someone in your life or are pursuing any goal for that matter, the quest and pursuit require action. One major reason people never reach their goals is because they fear rejection. They feel that rejection is something to be avoided; therefore, they never try to achieve greatness. I say, “Rejection be damned!” As disabled men, we have just as much if not more to offer any woman, and if rejection is a part of the equation then action is the solution.