Waiting, Wondering and Worrying
Okay, I confess. I’m scared. Nervous. A wee bit apprehensive. About my upcoming hysterectomy, that is.
By the time you’re reading this, I’m sure I’ll be home from the hospital, lounging on my couch, allowing the world to pass by in front of me as I rest and recover from the ordeal. But right now – I’m just waiting. And wondering. And worrying.
Yes, I’ve had surgeries before. Many surgeries, in fact. But I haven’t had one in more than 8 years. And I’ve never had one where my husband was around. The last one I had, to repair my tethered spinal cord, was months before I met my husband. So, maybe I’m even a little scared about how well he’s going to get through all this.
What else am I worried about, you ask? Well, for me, it really seems like the “not climbing stairs” rule is going to be a major issue. You see, if, after a couple weeks, the average post-hysterectomy patient feels she can get up a flight of stairs without winding herself then she may proceed as normal. However, if stair climbing is more of a challenge for you then just don’t do it.
Well, guess what folks? Stair climbing is already a bit of a challenge for me. Oh, I can do it, alright. I have to – we live in a 2- story house and I just do it. But it’s not entirely easy. I pretty much have to pull myself up using lots of arm (and abdominal) muscles to make up for my lack of strong leg muscles.
This is all fine and good on a normal, everyday basis. But not once I’ve had major abdominal surgery. Oh yeah, that’s another lovely thing I just found out – they’re going to take my uterus abdominally, rather than vaginally as originally planned.
It’s the best plan in the long run, I understand. But it adds more time to the recovery process, especially if I don’t stick closely to all of the post-op rules.
So how, might I ask, do I put my daughter to bed, in her second-story bedroom, 3 nights a week while my Hubby works the night shift at his 2nd part-time job? The nurse assured me I could climb stairs, like once a day, if I had my husband’s help to do so.
But when he’s at work and Sweetie’s got to go to bed – just what do they propose I do, huh?
My parents live about 20 minutes away. I suppose one option is to ask my mom to come over those evenings and put Sweetie to bed for me. It would be no later than 8:30pm. Then, she could be free to head on home.
But mom doesn’t especially love driving at night. And the “love” fades even faster in the face of even a mild dusting of snow, let alone a full-out blizzard and can we just take a moment to remember here that I’m having surgery in January?! So a snow storm or two is definitely a darn sure possibility.
There’s also the option that Hubby tells his work that he just plain can’t work evenings for awhile. Like, for 3 weeks. Ideally, the entire 6 weeks should be what he’s home for. But that’s just crazy talk in regards to getting that kind of time off work.
But 3 weeks is only slightly more reasonably imaginable. After all, we both work at the same place. We both have the same boss. She is totally awesome and understanding and cool and helpful. She has already rearranged Hubby’s part-time evening hours to better suit his whim any number of times.
And, really, since he’s part time, he’s not “set” to have any sick days or personal days of any type. He can basically take all the time he wants – without pay.
Honestly, we could manage that. After all, he’ll still be working with his dad during the days, and he’s making good money there. But I just can’t see work “letting” him take an extended leave from his job, even if it is to help me, their other employee who has doctor approved recovery time off.
So there you go. This whole putting Sweetie to bed thing is my biggest post-op concern. In regards to most of her other needs and care, she’s pretty well able to manage herself.
At the very least, she’s old enough to understand that Mommy hurts and needs her to be extra helpful and extra nice and a really big girl when it comes to getting things done around the house.
But for all that Sweetie can and will be able to do for herself, I know she can’t put herself to bed. Even if she could, I won’t have it. She’s only 4 years old! She shouldn’t have to walk herself to bed, turn out her light and tuck herself in. That’s just heartbreaking to me. It shouldn’t happen and it won’t happen. Not in my house, anyway.
So, like I said, maybe I’ll have to have mom stay longer some days, she’ll be coming over during most days to help me out anyway. Or maybe Hubby can get that work leave after all. Or maybe I’ll just turn the lights down low and the TV off and I’ll let her fall asleep on the sofa those evenings until Hubby gets home and can carry her up to bed. I don’t know.
But something will be figured out. It has to be figured out. Sweetie needs to be cared for properly, no matter what condition I’m in or what our surroundings are.
Sorry I only have worries for you this month with no real solutions. But by next month I will have lived through at least some of my recovery time and I can tell you what sort of solutions we came up with.
Regarding Sweetie’s nighttime routine and any and all other unforeseen challenges that will have certainly arisen as a result of my surgery and post-op recovery rules.
Wish me luck.
Send Amy an email at nathasha@audacitymagazine.com .