Dating and McNair’s Readers Speak Up

In Features, Letters To The Editor, We Hear Ya! by Our Readers

Hi. My name is Danny and I am 27 years old. I live in Puerto Rico. I checked Audacity and all I have to say is “Great job!” It’s great to teach people how to deal with people with disabilities.

Even though I’m not disabled, I’m telling you this because I’m kind of dating my friend. She’s in a chair because she has Cerebral Palsy.

The problem is nobody would understand me, not even her family. But hey, what’s one to do,huh?

Thanks for taking the time to read this letter. I wish you the best of luck and keep up the good work. I would love to know what the Audacity readers think of my situation.


Do you have some advice for Danny? Email us at .

Reader responds to Danny’s Dating Dilemma

Hi Danny,

I’m not sure what you mean when you say “Nobody will understand me.” Do
you mean they question why you’d want to be with her?

If that is what you mean, I suggest that you decide for yourself whether you want to be with this woman for now. I notice you say you’re “kind of dating [your] friend”– no one’s suggesting you make up your mind long term, but you need to be as clear as you can in your own head, for the

Do you want to be with her? When you know for sure, no one else’s opinions will be able to sway you as easily.

I wish you the best, whatever you decide.

Cindy in Monroe


McNair’s readers respond.


An excellent discussion of a complex issue. This article addresses an issue that I think needs to be addressed by the larger community which is why do churches who claim to include people with disabilities actually exclude them in many cases

? Why are the churches not reaching out to the disabled community? If disability is a private matter, does that mean that it should not be seen, heard or discussed? If that is the case where will we be?

On the other hand if disability is public which for me it is, how can we engage the larger community in an open ended dialogue that helps them to understand:

1) Disability is not chosen, it is a part of the lives of those with disability. It is as natural as the aging process and is not the product of sin or wrongful living.

2) People with disabilities are still people with lives, emotions, dreams and hopes. They want to have the best life they can under the circumstances in which they are living. They are loving beings who would like to share love with others and be loved in return.

3) As a wonderful song says: “how can anyone tell you that you are anything less than beautiful? How can anyone tell you that you are less than whole?” Beautiful beings describes all of us. How is it that others cannot see our beauty? Is it because they cannot see their own?

4) I must become comfortable enough with my life as a disabled person to share my experience with those I know. For it is when I share my being with others that they discover my unique beauty and wonder. It is an effort that requires time and patience but it is worth the effort.

The Bible exhorts us to help those who are ill or infirm. The churches like to talk about it but when it comes to “walking the walk” it seems there are few whose examples are worthy of emulation.

For those who need help, it is not just the government’s role, it is not just the family’s role, it is not just the community’s role—ultimately it partly everyone’s role. Even those of us with disabilities who have the ability to help others through sharing our experience, peer counseling, or just living our lives with perseverance, respect and courage can provide a tipping point for the transformation of people’s attitudes and behavior. Look for the miracles in the life you have been given, enjoy them and share the gifts you have. This is living.

Barney Mayse

Disability Advocate

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