Have you ever noticed how success feels limited, like accessible parking spaces? There are only a few spots, and once they are taken, the rest of us are expected to circle the lot, pretending we are fine with waiting. Society has built this illusion that there is only room for a handful of people with physical disabilities to make it. As if there is some cosmic quota for audacity.
But there isn’t. Or at least, there shouldn’t be.
The Accessible Parking Spot Illusion
For too long, success for disabled people has been treated as a special privilege instead of a natural right. When one of us gets recognized, we are told we should be grateful, as if we just won a raffle. That mindset keeps us competing for scraps instead of celebrating each other’s wins.
And when we start believing there is not enough space for everyone, we start shrinking ourselves. We stop applying, stop dreaming, stop believing we can also take up space. That is not inclusion. That is manipulation disguised as merit.
The Harder Truth
Here is where things get uncomfortable, and yes, maybe a little controversial. We tend to celebrate success when the person with a physical disability looks like someone “off the street.” Someone who blends in. Someone who makes the audience feel safe and inspired but not challenged.
It is not my imagination. I have been thinking about this for years. Some of my sweetest friends with physical disabilities have disagreed with me until a few finally admitted they had seen it too. Because they are the very people I am talking about.
We once made a list of the “major stage” success stories, the actors, influencers, speakers, and leaders. And yes, there is talent there. But many of them have physical disabilities that do not look severe. Their bodies fit a version of disability that people can tolerate. Take two people with the same diagnosis, like muscular dystrophy. One may look like anyone sitting in a chair, while another may have a more visible physical difference. Society treats them differently. The first gets the invitation, the interview, the photo shoot. The second often gets sympathy or silence.
Now picture that list filled with people whose disabilities are more pronounced, whose bodies tell the story before they ever speak. The list gets smaller. The silence gets louder.
The Layers No One Talks About
That parking lot illusion does not stop with disability. The same pattern repeats across society. Look at how skin tone, culture, or accent can decide who gets the front-row parking and who gets waved to the far end of the lot. My friends who are Black and Latino talk about it often. If you look “too Latino” or “too Black,” opportunities shift, invitations fade, and suddenly you are being measured by comfort, not capability.
It happens in every system that rewards familiarity over fairness. We see it. We live it. And it teaches all of us the same cruel lesson that belonging is conditional.
But here is what I know. When we open that gate for one group, it opens for others too. Expanding the lot benefits everyone.
Crabs in a Bucket
And then there is another truth, one we do not like to admit. We can turn on each other. It is the crab-in-a-bucket effect. One of us starts climbing, and instead of cheering, some pull them back down. It is not always jealousy; sometimes it is disbelief that someone like us can get that far. But here is the catch. When one of us climbs, it actually makes space for the rest. Their success does not block the view; it clears the path.
And yet, there are so many influencers and lobbyists in the country and the world, so why can’t we have that same abundance when it comes to people with physical disabilities? Why gatekeep information? If someone asks me how I manage Audacity Magazine while teaching full time, I do not ignore them or deflect. I share my tips and wisdom because it might help them. So come on, those of you with physical disabilities who are succeeding, share your knowledge. It is okay. I believe in karma. Give to receive.
I say this as someone who has been carving out space for decades. When I hear younger people with physical disabilities talk about the lack of access or the fight for equality, I have a bittersweet reaction. A part of me cheers, yes, keep fighting. And another part whispers, sweetie, if you think this is bad, be happy you were not around before the ADA.
Progress is not perfect, but it is happening. And we owe it to ourselves, and to those coming after us, to keep climbing, not clawing.
Breaking the Scarcity Spell
There is enough room for all of us. I do not care if your body fits the “poster” version of disability or if your difference makes people stare. Success should never depend on how easy it is for others to look at you.
We have to stop treating success like a parking permit that expires, stop fighting for a single spot. And we must expand the lot. Because the more of us who rise, the more undeniable we become.
My Bellybutton Takeaway
Success is not about who looks the part. It is about who shows up, speaks up, and refuses to shrink. The audacious life is not about being chosen. It is about claiming space that is already yours.
So, to every person with a physical disability reading this, there is room for you. Whether you blend in or stand out, whether your body moves like poetry or defies symmetry, you belong in the spotlight too.
We have been circling the lot long enough. Now it is our turn to pull in, park with pride, and leave the door open for the next one coming behind us.
What do you think? Do you agree with me? Disagree? Let me know. You can comment or email me at nathasha@audacitymagazine.com.
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