There is a truth about living with a physical disability that most people will never fully understand. It has nothing to do with sympathy and everything to do with how our bodies move through the world. A regular day for many of us is not regular at all. It’s a series of decisions and adjustments we’ve learned to manage so well that even we forget how much goes on behind the scenes.
The Fractured Ankle Example That Finally Makes Sense to Others
The closest example I can give non disabled people is this. Someone fractures an ankle and suddenly the simplest parts of their routine become complicated. Getting dressed means carefully balancing on one foot to pull up a sock. Carrying a cup of coffee feels like walking a tightrope. Hobbling to the car or going up the stairs becomes a whole process. Their normal life is still there, but now there is this added weight that changes everything.
For many of us, that fractured ankle experience is the starting point. Not the crisis. The baseline. And I am not comparing disability to a broken ankle to minimize disability. I am using it because it is the one moment when non disabled people briefly understand what it is like to move through life with a body that slows you down and demands more attention than you ever asked to give it.
We live with that awareness every day. We have adapted to the pace, the discomfort, the extra work, and the extra planning. We get through it without making a production out of it because that is the only way to live our lives. We accept a level of strain that would overwhelm someone else, and we keep moving because stopping every time something feels hard is not an option.
Added Stress Hits Harder When Your Everyday Is Already Full
This is why extra stress hits us differently. When our bodies throw something new into the mix like pneumonia, an infection, a flare up, or another fracture, it does not land on an empty schedule or a clear mind. It lands on top of a system that is already carrying more weight than most people realize. The pressure gets heavier, not because we are fragile, but because we are already managing a complicated routine that looks simple from the outside.
People can encourage us and support us and I appreciate that. But at the end of the day, I am the one who has to make the decisions and push through the uncomfortable parts. Support helps. Action is still on me.
That part can feel lonely, not because I do not have people who care, but because no one else can climb inside my body and carry the weight with me. They can cheer for me, but they cannot take the next step for me.
None of this is self pity. It is clarity. Disabled people move through life with a level of effort that often goes unnoticed because we have learned to make it look manageable. We carry a kind of effort that’s invisible to most people and function with layers of difficulty that others never see. And when life adds more to our plate, everything we usually push through quietly becomes more obvious.
Finding Strength in the Middle of a Demanding Life
So if you are having a day or a week when everything feels heavier than usual, do not judge yourself for it. You did not lose your strength. You did not suddenly become someone who cannot handle life. You are simply carrying more than most people understand, on top of everything you already manage without applause.
And here is what I remind myself when life feels crowded and my body is acting up. This moment is temporary. It will not feel this heavy forever. My body will settle again. My mind will catch up. The rhythm I rely on always finds its way back, even when it takes longer than I want it to. We get through these moments because we know how to adjust and regroup and keep moving in a way that works for us.
If anything, these challenges highlight the strength we use every day without even thinking about it. We have been through worse. We have handled more than most people will ever know. And even on the days when we do not feel like we are operating at full power, we still manage to show up with a resilience that is easy to overlook because we make it look like a normal part of life.
Regular is already hard for us. We have adapted to that. We have accepted that. So when life gets harder, we feel the difference. And we know we can handle it because we already have.
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Even a simple weekend getaway can be more stressful when people with no disabilities overlook reasonable accommodations. https://www.audacitymagazine.com/accessible-experience-eau-palm-beach-resort/
Comments
Great story 🤗