This week is Teacher Appreciation Week and Wishbone Day. It’s only fitting that I write about these two topics under mentors. First, I am a veteran middle school teacher in Miami, Florida. So thank you to all the teachers! Wishbone Day is to bring awareness and I like to add “acceptance” for people like me with Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI). Happy Wishbone Day! You can get all your information about OI from OIF.org.
The actual inspiration for this article goes to Jesse Itzler, Marq Brown and Chadd Wright. Every Wednesday, they head a zoom meeting with hundreds of others from around the world about various topics. You should join us. https://bylr.com/ Last night’s topic was mentoring.
After the meeting, I started thinking about the mentors in my life and the people who I have been privileged to mentor. No one is above being mentored. We all have potential to learn new ideas and skills. No one is below mentoring others. We all have something to contribute to the world.
My Mentors
As a child, our parents are our first mentors. My mom is the one who taught me to have audacity. She taught me to not backdown when the going got tough. I spent a childhood fracturing bones, going in and out of hospitals, surviving through several operations, and learning how to entertain myself during the healing process, so having a mom who didn’t show pity or allow anyone to pity me was a boon. The last thing we need as a disabled community is pity.
During my elementary years at Henry Viscardi School, I was surrounded with mentors. These teachers took the time to know me. I wasn’t a number or test score result to them. I wasn’t someone to be pitied or used as an inspiration tool. A perfect example is Bill Lupardo, my Pre K teacher, who is still in my life after almost five decades. Once in Kindergarten when I was no longer his student, I fell off a rocking horse on the playground and fractured my arm. My mom was on her way but I was 5 years old and crying for comfort. I cried out for Bill. He came to help me until my mom arrived.
At the end of 5th grade, I left New York to live in Florida. Every time I returned to visit New York, Bill made it a point to visit me. These were valuable teaching lessons. He taught me to laugh during my turbulent teens when I couldn’t deal with my father and my new step monster. As a mentor, Bill exhibited patience, understanding and sound advice even when the advice isn’t what I wanted to hear but what I needed to hear.
I had a mentor who didn’t know she was my mentor. Susie Gordon Ryan, my 5th grade teacher had polio. She was my role model. She didn’t academically hold me back by asking me to wait for my classmates to finish the class work. Or give me a passing grade if I didn’t deserve it. If I did something wrong, she let me know it. Trust me!
Susie (she said I can call her that! Isn’t that sweet?) lived her life in front of us. From the romantic courtship that lead to marriage with Mr. Ryan to her love for living, dancing, riding horses, and make up! We boogied to disco music on Fridays. We learned to apply make up too. Decades later, Facebook has reconnected us. Now she rocks it in local politics while looking as beautiful as she did in the 1970s. There was no doubt in my mind, I knew I could be a teacher. The dynamic Susie Gordon Ryan had paved the way.
Mentors Find You or You Find Them
Mentors enter your life at the right time. You may seek them or fate brings you together. In my mid 20s, I was waiting in line to vote, Mr. Harrabey Friedman, my former 8th grade history teacher was waiting too. We hadn’t seen each other since I was in junior high school. When he heard me explain that no one was willing to give me an opportunity to teach because I was disabled, he invited me to substitute at the school where he was an assistant principal. During my time there, he gave me advice on how to handle the politics of school and stand up for myself when co workers, NOT THE STUDENTS, tested my ability to teach. He continues to be a fountain of wisdom when I am thirsty for knowledge.
Sometimes, we have to find our mentor. I had been following Suze Orman for years. I read her books, watched her shows on PBS channel and her weekend show on CNBC. When I heard she was in Miami, I made sure to be there. She gave my young friend advice that day but I wasn’t able to get her attention. So I made sure I went to see her again in Fort Lauderdale. This time I did get her attention and more than I bargained for. Suze announced to the crowd that day that she would mentor me in my personal finances. That was over 10 years ago! Yes, she continues to guide me! And she’s been a great supporter of Audacitymagazine.com! Thank you, Suze!
I am a Mentor
I have more mentors than those I mentioned here. It would be an incredibly lengthy yet interesting post if I wrote about all of them. The point is that these mentors came into my life (I came into my mom’s life! HA HA) and added value to my life. They were also my beacon of hope when times felt dark. I knew that I wanted to give that back to others. And I did.
Becoming a teacher gave me the chance to help others in the classroom, but what I never thought would be possible was the opportunity to mentor them outside of the classroom. Yet it did. Through social media, I reconnected with several former students. One such former student, Zashanell Guido invited me to sushi dinner to tell me how much I had impacted her. That was a blessing. We continue to this day to have our dinner dates, talking for hours as she picks my brain the way that I have to others. Zashanell is a talented songwriter and singer.
You Are a Mentor
You don’t have to be a teacher to mentor someone. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be an expert in everything. You have to be someone who is willing to share their knowledge with someone who will appreciate it. Everyone will have a different definition of mentoring but I think that mentoring really is the exchange of information and time between people with a deep appreciation for each person’s time and knowledge.
A person doesn’t have to be disabled to need a mentor. A person doesn’t have to be disabled to mentor. I don’t really know if my disability gave me the upper hand to be mentored or to be heard by my mentees. What I do know is that we need more mentors for disabled people and we need to start that at a young age just like I did.
We need parents who won’t coddle but empower their disabled children. We need teachers who will encourage disabled students to reach their maximum potential. We need businesses to reach out to the disabled community and create a mentoring relationship. Notice I didn’t say program. Because there are too many mentoring programs for everyone but when the time comes, disabled people either don’t qualify or don’t have access to them. We need answers, solutions not obstacles and more challenges. Come on, society! You can do it!
You Can Mentor
As disabled people, we need to nurture each other. We should be mentoring each other. For example, every time I go to an Osteogenesis Imperfecta conference, I leave in awe at all of the talent gathered in one place. Singers, artists, entrepreneurs, photographers, sales people, government workers, teachers, lawyers, medical people and so much more. Each one of us has something to offer others. It’s a matter of connecting with the right person.
Use social media to share your passion and your area of expertise. You don’t need to have a degree in it. I know a disabled person who sews and sells beautiful blouses. Her creations were in great demand. She decided to take on interns. They helped her unexpected new business and she taught them sewing skills. Ta da!
I invite all of you who celebrate Wishbone Day to seek a mentor or seek someone to mentor. The time spent will be valuable to you, the other person and society in the long run.
Happy Wishbone Day! Happy Teacher Appreciation Day!
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